Marriage SMS - Page 5

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him – oscar wilde

Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human offspring”

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. – anne sophie swetchine

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous. – h.l. mencken

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. – g.b. shaw, getting married, 1908

The grass looks greener . . . But it’s astroturf.

Wife: the perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.

Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.

Husband: “when i’m gone you’ll never find another man like me.”
Wife replied: “what makes you think i’d want another man like you!”

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. – charles caleb colton

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little state- and church-begotten weed, marriage? – emma goldman, marriage and love

Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.” – amy bloom

Commitment has kind eyes. He wears sturdy shoes.
Everything is vivid when he is around. It is wonderful to sit
And have lunch in his gardens around harvest time. You
Can taste in the vegetables that the soil has been cared for.

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. – lord byron

Women are unpredictable, before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. – grace hansen

Never criticize your wife’s faults.
It might have been those faults that kept her from getting a better husband

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes tuesdays, i go fridays.

Wife: (standing in front of mirror) i am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?
Funny husband: your eyesight is still excellent !

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. – john mortimer, the trials of rumpole

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Son: how much does it cost to get married, dad?
Father: i don’t know son, i’m still paying for it.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case,
But the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.
Diane sollee

Coming together is the beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.
Henry ford

Women r confusing… Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

A love that lasts for twenty years may be better than love, but it isn’t love. – mignon mclaughlin, the second neurotic’s notebook, 1966

I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other’s gaps.
Rocky

Marriage is a relationship of love between life partners and love is blind…therefore, marriage is 4 blind people.

Wife : ‘do you want dinner?’
Husband: ‘sure! What are my choices?’
Wife: ‘yes or no.’

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” – mignon mclaughlin

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Q: what is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with the wife ?
A: apologize !!!

Different phases of a man:
After engagement: superman
After marriage: gentleman
After 10 years: watchman
After 20 years: doberman

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder. – thornton wilder

Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people remembering the same thing. – duane dewel

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. – tommy manville

Do not pray to marry the one that you love,
But to love the one that you marry.
Spencer kimball

Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced.

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. – friedrich nietzsche

Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.

All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.

Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.
James thurber

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “am i too late for the garbage?” following her down the street i yelled, “no, jump in!”

It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others. – helen rowland, violets and vinegar

Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: “yes dear”

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. – h.l. mencken, a book of burlesques, 1916