Funny SMS

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10 Funny Sms Of Sports

Why grasshopper not interested in football matches?
They prefer cricket matches.

What kind of tea do soccer players drink?

Which race has no running?
A swimming race.

Why didn’t Mr. khan’s dog play football?
Because it was a boxer

A woman went to a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.
Women: “It`s for my husband.
Shopkeeper: “Did he tell you what type should buy?”
Women: “Are you kidding?”,”He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him today!”

A golfer after hitting a shot asked:
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving day by day?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you missed the ball much closer this time, getting closer day by day.”

Which animal is the best hitter of baseball?
The bat.

Why couldn’t Usain Bolt listen to any of the music?
“Because he always breaks the record.”

How did the football ground end up in a triangle?
Somebody took a corner!

What is common between a cricketer and a magician?
Both do hattricks!

10 One Liners Funny Sms

My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently.

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

“Mom, can I play with grandpa?”

“No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.”

What is agony?

You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff. Suddenly your butt starts to itch.

Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have!

I had to quit my job at the helium plant. I couldn’t tolerate it anymore that people speak to me in such a voice.

My wife accused for being a transvestite

So I packed up her things and left.

It’s cleaning day today. I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

Why I don’t trust joggers? Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.

Funny One Liners Text Sms

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.

Do you know this joke where all the idiots say no?

Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors?

I just met a great looking blonde girl with long legs. She’s babysitter. Does anybody know where I can quickly get a child from today?

A woman complains to her mother, “I had this big fight with my husband Joe and at the end he just told me to go to hell.”

Mother frowns, “Oh, and so you came to me, huh?”

“Why do you look so sad?”

“I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water.”

I heard that it is easier to find a girlfriend when you have things in common.

So girls, I like to breath.

Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!

I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds.

You really are the most jealous woman I know.

Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?!

10 Funny One Liners Messages

My wife’s driving test went surprisingly well yesterday. She got 7 out of 12. The 5 managed to run to safety.

I called the hospital but the line was dead.

Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?

Wife: Michael, I’m over here!

Do you know a tree’s favorite drink?

Root beer!

What did one plate say to his friend?

Tonight, dinner’s on me!

Two invisible men meet. One says to the other: “Hey dude, long time no see!”

When everything’s coming your way – perhaps you’re in the wrong direction on the highway?

A woman sees an angler at a lake, “And, are they biting?”

The angler replies, “Only if they are provoked.”

One frog to the other: Oh man, it’s starting to rain. Let’s hop into the water before we get wet

Do you want to hear a truly delicious tofu recipe?

1) Chuck the tofu.

2) Fry a juicy steak.

Funny One Liners Sms

Why are ghost such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.

I stole my friend’s wheelchair. Guess who is comes crawling back to me?!
Man so his wife: I’d never say you’re fat! You’re just a bit more visible.

Dark, the side of this toast is. (Yoda at breakfast)

What would you call a person who had no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.

A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!

” Dentist: “You need a crown.”
Patient: “Finally someone who understands me”

A cannibal came home late to family dinner. He got the cold shoulder.

Here, I bought you a calendar. Your days are numbered now.

Where do fish sleep?
In the RiverBed.

Talk is cheap, yeah? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?!