Funny SMS - Page 5

Q: What happens when you cross a pie with a snake?
A: A pie-thon [python]

Q: Which lottery did the broom win?
A: The sweepstakes!

Q: What sound do the porcupines make when they kiss each other?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why are identical twins like a broken alarm clock?
A: Because they are dead ringers!

Q: What is a well-dressed lion called?
A: A dandy-lion [dandelion]

Q: Which animals are found on legal documents?
A: Seals.

Q: Which fish swims only at night?
A: The starfish.

Q: Name the ideal cure for dandruff?
A: Simple – baldness.

Q: Differentiate between a banana and a bell?
A: You can peel a banana only once.

Q: Why do people say that whales are the biggest gossipers?
A: Mainly because they are always spouting off.

Q: What is the standard greeting of the lion to the other animals?
A: Am pleased to eat you!

Q: When do you put a watch in the oven?
A: When you want to have a hot time.

Q: What is the first step to getting rich?
A: Learn to shut up, as silence is golden.

Q: What did the little bulb say to the mom bulb?
A: I wove you watts and watts.

Q: Which apple has the shortest temper?
A: The crab apple.

Q: What does one call a bear with no ear?
A: B. (No ear)

Q: Is it better to write on a full or an empty stomach?
A: Writing on paper works the best.

Q: Which animal has more lives than the cat?
A: Frogs, because they “croak” each night.

Q: What goes around a field but does not move?
A: The fence.

Q: Which is the easiest way to make a cigarette “lighter”?
A: Simple – just take out the tobacco.

Q: What happens when you eat alphabet soup?
A: You swallow your words.

Q: What made the boy from believing the tiger?
A: He thought it was lion [lying].

Q: Why do people always begin their journey with the right foot first?
A: Mainly because when you move one foot, the other is left behind.

Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you shut off its power?
A: It loses its cool.

Q: Why do storks stand on one leg only?
A: If they lifted that, they would fall down.

Q: Differentiate a greedy person and an electric toaster?
A: While one takes the most, the other makes the toast.

Q: Name an invisible baby drink?
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: Why don’t scarecrows have any fun?
A: Simply because they are stuffed shirts.

Q: Why did the chicken hesitate to cross the street?
A: Since there was a KFC on the other side.

Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?
Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.

What could be a computer’s favorite dance item?
Disk – o!

How can you make number seven to an even number?
Just take the “s” out from it!

Which is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil – vania!

Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
Because it was suffering from a virus!

What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Your name!

Which is the flower on face?
Tu – lips!

Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
The psycho path!

Can you name a bear with no socks?
A bare-foot!

Can a leopard hide anywhere?
No, he is always spotted!

How can you make a golden soup?
Just add 24 carrots to the soup!

What kind of a star can be risky?
A shooting star!

How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
Through cell phones!

In which bank Dracula like to save money?
In a blood bank!

What type of waves are there in small beaches?
Microwaves!

Q: What made the man fix his car horn?
A: Since it did not give a hoot.

Q: What really happened when uncle “Abel” passed away?
A: He just became “Unable”

Q: What do you to do to make notes of stone?
A: Just rearrange the letters.

Q: What can be drawn without a drawing aid?
A: Your breath.

Q: What was the umbrella that Louis XI used to carry in the rain?
A: Obviously, a wet one.