Husband and Wife SMS

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

Judge: why did u shoot Ur wife
instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Every time!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in Ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.