Funny SMS

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-energy
X-excitement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!

Girl: It’s 2 tight
Boy: Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal: Push it in,
Boy: Ah..I can’t,
Gal: It’s painful,
Boy: Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is u’rs……..:p

Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it
Within three days, you can keep it.

Whats d height of hope??
It is: sitting in d exam hall,
holding d question paper in hand
n telling Ur self
“dude,don’t worry.
Exams will get postponed!”