SMS, Text Messages

In the Year 2050,
Father Angrily to
His Kid – “I Told you
a Hundred Times,
You Were Only BORN,
Not DOWNLOADED.”

Why does a Blonde
keep empty beer bottles
in her fridge?
They are for
those who don’t drink…..

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now…
Sorry I am leaving now, I can’t find a brain

A successful man is one who makes more money
Than his wife can spend.

Last night was my fault, my wife asked, what’s on the TV? And ….. I said, dust!

Teacher: ‘Hello Boys, Remember.. Nothing is impossible’
One Student: ‘Ok sir, U please take out all the toothpaste & put it back in the tube again’

Q: What’s the definition of irreconcilable differences?
A: When she’s melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

Of loving beauty
you float with grace
If only you
could hide your face

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
That everyone should have a friend like you….
Why should only I suffer!

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What ‘So? Which platform are u working on?

Advice: Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice….

Wrote your name on the sands…..It got washed away,i wrote your name in air….It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart…I got heart attack!!!

Exams are like Girlfriends
– Too many questions
– Difficult to understand
– More explanation is needed
– Result is always fail!

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it`s true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

What do u call a woman in Heaven? An Angel. A crowd of women in Heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in Heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!

My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a Tubelight

Always remember you’re unique – just like everyone else.

What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying… & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!

A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction

Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to mankind

HELLO, this is your mobile phone. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, the smell is unbearable!!!

Difference between a man buying a lottery and a man arguing with his wife? Answer: A man buying a lottery has a chance to win!

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no b in rose. Max: There was in this one!

I’m sorry that I’m running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.

What’s the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Through the years
i have shared so much with you
Both bitter and sweet
you have been such a comfort
to me helping me in every way
& all I wanna say today is Sis I treasure u close 2 my heart

Through tears, laughter & sisterly hug
i have watched you grow
Happy birthday to an amazing sister

Those are the same stars, & that is the same moon,
that look down upon your brothers & sisters,
& which day see as they look up to them,
though they are ever so far away from us, & each other.

sister, please hold my hand
because without you I can’t stand
for we were put on this earth for a reason
to go through every good & bad season..

I long for the day through the year
that you so ceremoniously tie rakhi
on my wrist & pray 4 my well being.
Dear Sis, I wish that our bond grows stronger every day.

Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family,
but once sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship

If u need a shoulder to cry on I’ll be there
I am there when you are sad and lonely
Or when you are in pain
Glad I can help you when you are feeling gray
i’m thankful to you that you are my sister

Sister, Sister
Do u hear me cry
Do u feel my touch?
Do u even feel my rhyme?
I care 4 u sis I do, I do
I know I m not dair for you

Sister is sumone who is caring & sharing.
Sister can understand things you never said.
She can understand pain which is not visible to anyone. I love my sister.

Sky is blue, feel this hue,
my love is for you Bhaiya always true.
Lots of good wishes for Raksha Bandhan

There is no better friend than a sister.
And there is no better sister than yo

A loving sister glow like star in brother’s soul.

Your loving hugs fill my days with joy & laughter
in you i have found a
Forever Friend
“Thanks for being my sister”

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
Something you say. After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.

My dad always asks my wife, “is he treating you right?” it reminds me of my responsibility
To be a good husband.

Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Then write a
List of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the lists and reread them
Frequently.
Rabbi pliskin in marriage

May our children be blessed with rich parents

You can’t be value free when it comes to marriage.

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the the other, to let her have it.

Once it’s established that we are a team, i can demand of you and expect you to
Demand of me. Life without pain is an addiction and the fantasy of perpetual happiness
Is like the “delusion of fusion.”
Carl whitaker

Q: why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: they’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time!

Perfection is what american women expect to find in their husbands, but english women only hope to find in their butlers.

And i shall love thee still my dear, until my wife is wise.

Marriage is the mother of the world. It preserves kingdoms, and fills cities and churches, and heaven itself.”

Love and honour your patner,
Help and give service.
But do not bahave like a slave.