10 One Liners Funny Sms

My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently.

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

“Mom, can I play with grandpa?”
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“No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.”

What is agony?
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You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff. Suddenly your butt starts to itch.

Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have!

I had to quit my job at the helium plant. I couldn’t tolerate it anymore that people speak to me in such a voice.

My wife accused for being a transvestite
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So I packed up her things and left.

It’s cleaning day today. I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

Why I don’t trust joggers? Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.