SMS, Text Messages

Good resolutions are simply checks
That men draw on a bank
Where they have no account.
Happy new year.

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love;
The running across fields into your lover’s arms
Can only come later when
You’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.

An aeroplane asks a rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The rocket replies you will know the pain
When they put fire at your back!

Man1 sitting with dog.
Man2: your dog bites?
Man1: no
Man2: sits and the dog bites!
Man2: angrily, you said he does not bite!
Man: that is not my dog.

What happens when
The elephant sat on
The mercedes car … ???
.
.
.
.
Everyone knows
“the mercedes bends” ;->

A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
“heads, i go to sleep.”
Tails, i watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge i’ll study:

He said… do u love me just coz
My father left me a fortune?
She said… no stupid, i’d love u no matter
Who left you the money!

Life is 10% of what happend to you
And 90% of how you respond to it!
So think before you respond.

Q: what did the gangster’s son
Tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: dad they questioned me for 3 hours
But i never told them anything.”

N o t h i n g
I n
T h e
W o r l d
I s
M o r e
E x p e n s i v e
T h a n
H a v i n g
A
G i r l f r i e n d
W h o’ s
T o t a l l y
F r e e
O n
W e e k e n d

Hold on, man.
We don’t go anywhere with
“scary,” “spooky,” “haunted,”
Or “forbidden” in the title.
– from Scooby-Doo

Teacher : what do you call a person
Who keeps on talking when
People are no longer interested?
Pupil: a teacher.

We will now upgrade your brain,
Please wait….
Searching….
Searching…
Still searching….
Sorry,
No brain found…!

What is height of stupidity? A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

If u feel little bored, little sick, little sad, all lost,
U know what’s wrong?
U r suffering from lack of vitamin “me”
Good night

What is education…?
Education is a process of wasting half of our life to learn how to waste remaining half of our life.

Employer: “in this job we need someone who is responsible.”
Applicant: “i’m the one you want.
On my last job, every time anything went wrong,
They said I was responsible.”

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it’s a depression when you lose yours. — harry s. Truman

The most effective
Way 2 remember
Ur wife’s birthday
Is 2 forget it once.

Think big.
Think positive.
Think smart.
Think beautiful.
Think great.
I know, that is too much for u,
So here is a shortcut.
Just think about me!

A
Girl’s
Best
Asset
Is
Her
‘lie’ability

Wonderfull couples in this world
Heart & beats
Night & moon
Music & songs
Roses & love
Fish & water
My sms & ur smile

A: did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: that’s impossible. Whose baby?
A: an elephant’s.

Manager:
Sorry, but i can’t give you a job.
I don’t need much help.
Job applicant: that’s all right.
In fact i’m just the right person in this case.
You will see, i won’t be of much help anyway!!

Q: when does the (english) alphabet have only 25 letters?
A: at christmas time, because it is the time of noel. (no l)

God thought that since
He couldn’t b everywhere
He made a mother.
Then devil thought that
He couldn’t be everywhere
He made a mother-in-law.

Husband to a newlywed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife: thanks,but promise me
You will stay there for the rest of your life.

Whats the matter why r u avoiding me?
Did i hurt u?
Keep in touch with me??
Your’s lovingly
Soap and water

Why government do not
Allow a man to marry 2 women.
Because per constitution,
You can not be punished twice
For the same mistake.

Management fundamental for success … :
If you don’t like
Any rule , just follow it
Reach the top and
Then change the rule

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?
Student: “father in law”.

5 frogs were sitting on a wall
4 decided to jump off.
How many left now??
Still 5.
Because there’s a lot of difference between
Deciding and doing

Someday you may lose your hair.
You may lose your teeth- oyur money & even lose your mind.
But 1 thing you will never loose is oyur good looks.
Because you cant lose what you don’t have!

A ship was sinking.
Captain: does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
As we are one jacket short.

Girlfriend: and are you sure
You love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: dead sure!
I checked the whole list again yesterday

Life is like a movie…
If u r sad – drama
If u r afraid – suspense
If u r angry – action
When u look at the mirror – horror

Roses r red,
Violets r blue,
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
You will find me there too,
Not in the cage but laughing at you.

Newtons 2nd law of romance
The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
Directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
The direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the bank balance

What is attitude?
3 ants saw an elliphant coming.
1st ant:v wl break his leg.
2nd ant:v wl kill him.
3rd ant: leave him dude, he is alone v r three…

A young woman who was worried about
Her habit of biting her fingernails
Was advised by a friend to take up yoga.
She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga
Had totally cured her nervousness.
“no,” she replied, ”
But now i can reach my toe-nails so i bite them instead.

Astronomers say
“the universe is finite…”
Which is a comforting
Thought
For those people ,
Who cannot remember
Where they leave things

Man 1:
“I’m always delighted
When people stick their
Noses in my
Business.”
Man 2:
“why, what do you do?”
Man 1:
“I own a company that makes
tissues” ;->

Smile is a language of love,
Smile is a way 2 get success.
Smile is 2 win hearts,
Smile improves ur personality.
So please
Brush daily!

Teacher: Bobby, give me a sentence starting with “i”.
Bobby: i is ……
Teacher: no, Bobby. Always say, “i am.”
Bobby: all right… “i am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
Up and does not stop until u get into the office…

Wife running after a garbage truck:
Am i too late for the garbage?
Hubby following her yelled: not yet.
Jumpppp innnn fastttt.