Funny SMS - Page 25

लडकियों कि दो समस्याएं

1 . कैसे कुत्ते की तरह देख रहा है

2. कुत्ता देख भी नहीं रहा है

अब कुत्ता क्या करे।।। ?

प्रश्न:- जीवन क्या है.?

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उत्तर:
#facebook और #whatsup से
बचा हुआ समय ही जीवन है! ? ? ?

अजीब चेहरे बनाना,
अकेले में मुस्कुराना,
अकेले ही बेवजह हंसना..
पहले ये सब पागलपन की निशानियां कहलाती थीं..
अब इसे सेल्फी लेना कहते है.. ?

बेटी: मैं पड़ोसी से प्यार करती हूं
और उसके साथ भाग रही हूं..!!

पिता: अरे वाह, बहुत बढि़या।
मेरे पैसे और समय दोनों बच गए..

बेटी: पापा, मैं चिट्ठी पढ़ रही हूं,
जो मम्मी रखकर गई हैं.. ? ?

कोर्ट में एक एक्सीडेंट केस
पर सुनवाई चल रही थी

जज: क्या सबूत है.. की तुम
कार धीमे चला रहे थे.. ?

आरोपी: हुजुर, मै अपनी बीवी को
लेने अपने ससुराल जा रहा था ..।

जज: रिहा कर दो इस मासूम को ..।

पति (पत्नी से)- ये क्या तुम एक और सूट ले आयी? अभी परसों ही तो..

पत्नी चिल्लाकर बोली- क्या परसों?
बोलो.. बोलो क्या कहा तुमने?
रुक क्यों गये?
क्या परसों, बोलो जल्दी-जल्दी बोलो ना, बताओ क्या परसो?

पति- कुछ नही, मैं बस यह कह रहा था की..
परसों भी एक ही सूट लायी थी पगली, आज तो दो ले आती..!! ?

☝? दुनिया में दो ही लोग..
एक-दूसरे को बड़ी हसरत से देखते हैं ।

☝? कुंआरे शादीशुदा को..
और शादीशुदा कुंआरों को..!! ?

अनलिमिटेड बेइज्जती

गर्मी मै बस स्टॉप पर 25-30 लोग
बस का इंतजार कर रहे थे
एक भिखारी आया और सब से
1-1 रुपया लेकर
ऑटो मै बैठ कर चला गया ..!! ?

? पप्पू कार धो रहा था
तभी पास से आण्टी गुजरी और पूछा..
कार धो रहे हो..!!

नही पानी दे रहा हूं,
शायद बडी होकर बस बन जाए.
आण्टी बेहोश ?

पत्नी:- मै घर छोड़ कर जा रही हु ?

पति:- मै भी निर्मल बाबा के पास जा रहा हु ?

पत्नी:- मुझे मागने के लिए ?

पति:- नही बताने के लिए की कृपा आनी शुरू हो गयी है?

Ladki:- Hello baby, tumhari yaad aa rahi thi.. ?

Ladka:- Abhi salary nahi aayi hai meri.. ?

Ladki:- Acha chalo.. papa aa gaye, bye.. ?

Height of smiley

Boy:- Kya kal rat tum party me thi..?

Girl:- ?

Boy:- Yeh kya!!!

Girl:- Ha thi.. ??⁠⁠⁠⁠

Socho agar bhagwan RAM, Rath ki jagah NANO car me Baith kar RAWAN se ladte To rawan kya kahta…
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Chalao na NANO se baan re, Jaan le lo na R@m re.

Ek dukhi girlfriend ne,
Apne boyfrnd ke liye Shayari likhi…..
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Phoolo ka raja,
Baharo ka shahzada..
Phoolo ka raja baharo ka shahzada
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Dil todh kar chala gaya..
KUTTA KAMINA HARAMZADA

Student shayari:-

aasman me kali ghataa chai he, aaj fir principal se mar khai he, sab kahte he sudhar ja. Par kya kare aaj medam fir vidhya baalan banke ayi he.

Shaadi Se Agle Din Patni GusseSe Pati Se Boli.
Patni: “ Subah-Subah Mere Chehre Pe Pani Kyun Dala? ”
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Pati: “ Tere Baap Ne Kaha Tha Ke Meri Beti Phool Ki Tarah Hai, Ise Murjhane Mat Dena ?

Pappu:-
“Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes
fever. .
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Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya
hota hai?
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Pappu:-
Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever
means “Aaloo Bukhara!
IIN STUDENT ?

Sir – Kaunsa Panchi sabse Tez udta hai. . . .?
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Pappu – Hathi.
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Sir – Nalayak,Tera Baap kya karta hai..?
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Papu – Chota Rajan ke Gang me shooter hai..
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Sir – Shabashhhh….
“Hathi” sahi jawab hai. ! ?

Why Are Elephants
Large, Gray And
Wrinkly… ?
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Because
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If They Were
Small Round & White
They Would Be
”Aspirins” ;->

Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report :p

Attitude of girls:
When a boy sends dirty sms
she laughs for 10 minutes,
forward dat to her friends n
then replies the boy.
“i dont like that kind of sms ok?” :p ;->

Friends I’m Collecting
Quad Photos
Give Ur Contribution
2 My Collection.
A Small Condition Is
It Must Be On
500 Or 1000 Rupees Note

Teacher:
What should be in a
book to make it a bestseller?

Tommy:
A girl on the cover
and
no cover on the girl.

Define a True Music Lover?

A Girl singing in a Bathroom
While Taking Bath
and a Boy Near the Keyhole
is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.

Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.

Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.

Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ?
How do I know if it is pure honey ?
Seller : give the dog some honey ..
if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey

Buyer : what if the dog licks it ?
Seller: so it is not a real dog.

Thought of the day:
“if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!”

A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.

Flowers die,
Stories end,
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come 2 end,
But people like u r remembered forever,
Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Man on phone:
Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man: No this is her husband speaking…

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”

I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
(My neighbourer say all this to me)

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents – Ruby First Class in Bed!

A Man saw a Beautiful Girl, he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Man: B.Com final year”

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. “I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Husband: Today is Sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

What’s the difference between wife n neighbors wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbor’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

Someday you may lose your hair.
you may lose your teeth- your money & even lose your mind.
But 1 thing you will never loose is your good looks.
because you cant lose what you don’t have!

Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured….!!!

2 men were fixing a bomb in a car.
Men 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Men 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

Who‘s hot… Its U,
Who‘s
Charming… Its U,
Who‘s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who‘s
Intelligent… Its U,
Who‘s dear & near friend… Its U
Who‘s a liar.. Its me

Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!