A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
– Demetri Martin
0More Entries
- A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay. – Demetri Martin
- Saying, ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying, ‘ I apologize.’ Except at a funeral. – Demetri Martin
- Another term for balloon is bad breath holder. – Demetri Martin
- I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me. – Demetri Martin
- Stand-up is like a row boat: it’s fun and romantic when you’re choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it’s not as enjoyable; that’s survival. – Demetri Martin
- Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. – Demetri Martin
- “I like video games, but they’re really violent. I’d like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It’d be called ‘Really Busy Hospital.” – Demetri Martin
- I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades or a game of fake heart attack. – Demetri Martin
- A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. – John Lennon
- “He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.” – Francis of Assisi