Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 8

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
– Aristotle Onassis

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
– Virginia Woolf

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
– Dan Quayle

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
– Steve Martin

I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
– Groucho Marx

Put three Zionists in a room and they will form four political parties.
– Levi Eshkol

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
– Ed Furgol

Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.
– Otto Von Bismark

Old age takes away what we’ve inherited and gives us what we’ve earned.
– Gerald Brenan

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn’t rain.
– Mae West

You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music.
– Jim Carrey

You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
– Melanie Clark

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.
– Leon Trotsky

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
– Albert Einstein

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
– Mark Twain

The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic.
– Henry Ward Beecher

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
– Dave Barry

I think that God in creating Man some what over estimated his ability.
– Oscar Wilde

Don’t tell mom I’m a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
– Bumper sticker

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
– Albert Einstein