There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? – Dick Cavett Tags: Dick Cavett +246 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen Tags: Woody Allen +240 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have. – Ring Lardner +238 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. – Brendan Gill +236 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction. – Oscar Wilde Tags: Oscar Wilde +234 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. – Joey Adams +232 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. – Emo Phillips +230 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted. – Nicolas Chamfort Tags: Nicolas Chamfort +228 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Tags: Ralph Waldo Emerson +228 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
There are three faithful friends an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. – Benjamin Franklin Tags: Benjamin Franklin +230 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused. – Shirley Maclaine +226 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. – Jennifer +224 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead. – Johnny Carson Tags: Johnny Carson +222 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. – Penny Ward Moser +220 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. – Julia +218 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner Tags: Rita Rudner +216 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not. – Friedrich Nietzsche Tags: Friedrich Nietzsche +280 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… as you grow older, it will avoid you. – Winston Churchill Tags: Winston Churchill +278 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W. C. Fields Tags: W. C. Fields +278 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost Tags: Robert Frost +274 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments