Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 6

Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
– Spike Milligan

Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.
– Jerome K. Jerome

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
– Don Quinn

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
– Abba Eban

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
– Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
– H.L. Mencken

From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
– Mabel Louise Robinson

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
– John Barrymore

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.
– Robert W. Sarnoff

Drive carefully! Remember, it’s not only a car that can be recalled by it’s maker.
– Anonymous

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
– Mark Twain

Marriage is a three ring circus engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
– Anonymous

There are terrible temptations which it requires strength and courage to yield to.
– Oscar Wilde

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering and it’s all over much too soon.
– Woody Allen

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
– Billy Crystal

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
– Carl Sandburg

The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.
– Ring Lardner

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
– Bill Cosby

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
– Josh Billings

One of the things important about history is to remember the true history.
– George W. Bush