Funny Quotes and Sayings

Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.
– Dale Evans

You watch the pitlane while I stop the start watch…
– Murray Walker

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
– Demetri Martin

What’s another word for thesaurus?
– Steven Wright

Boys are beyond the range of anybody’s sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
– James Thurber

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age – I missed it coming and going.
– J.B. Priestly

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.
– Milton Berle

Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 27