If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. – Sam Levenson +3 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
He’s got a photographic mind. Too bad it never developed. – Leopold Fechtner +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. – Anonymous +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris. – Orville Wright +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. – Groucho Marx Tags: Groucho Marx +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you. – Mae West Tags: Mae West +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. – Joe Namath +9 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. – Henny Youngman +15 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets. – William Thomas +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry. – Anonymous +3 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. – Charles Gaulle +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck Tags: Erma Bombeck +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson +13 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henry Youngman +13 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
I just thought of something funny…your mother. – Cheech Marin +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. – Carl Gustav Jung +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. – H. L. Mencken Tags: H. L. Mencken +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. – Peter Ustinov +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. – Max Eastman +1 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments
Life is just one damned thing after another. – Erbert Hubbard +3 Category: Funny Quotes and Sayings | No comments