Funny Marriage Quotes

Better be a desperate single with many options than a desperate married with no option.
– Amen Muffler

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

– Chris Rock

Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.

My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.

– Elbert Hubbard

You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

– James Holt McGavran

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

– James Holt McGavran

Remember- you can either be happy or RIGHT.

Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.

It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

– Lana Turner

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?

– Barbra Streisand

Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot? Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

– Joey Adams

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

– James Holt McGavran

The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.