Funny Golf Quotes

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

– Ben Hogan

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.

– Paul Harvey

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.

– Arnold Palmer

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

– Harry Vardon

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

– Buddy Hackett

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.

– Phyllis Diller

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

– Billy Graham

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.

– H. G. Wells

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

– P.J. O’Rourke

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

– G. K. Chesterton

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

– Tiger Woods

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.

– Winston Churchill

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

– Rogers Hornsby

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

– Billy Graham

Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

– P.J. O’Rourke