Funny Women Quotes - Page 3

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

– Alfred Lord Tennyson

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

– Gilda Radner

Is the reason we have so few female politicians that it would take too long to put make up on their two faces.

If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty- Bysix and looks twenty- Bysix, she’s damn near forty.

– Chris Rock

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

– Laurence J. Peter

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

– Malcolm de Chazal

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.

– Marilyn Monroe.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

Don’t judge a women from 100 feet away.

Men are generally more law- By abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn’t make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.

In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman.

– Nancy Astor

I would rather trust a woman’s instinct than a man’s reason.

– Stanley Baldwin

How to turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her.

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right instantly.

– Sam Slick

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item that they don’t need at all.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.