Funny Women Quotes

Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet.

– Brendan Francis

Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.

Man has will; but woman has her way.

– Oliver Wendell Holmes

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

– Christopher Morley

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right

A woman wears her tears like jewelry.

– Author Unknown

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other.

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.

– Mignon McLaughlin

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
– Aristotle Onassis

I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never lose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.

I don’t get why girls go to college, you don’t need a degree to make a sandwich.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

All girls can be intelligent..you just gotta act stupid in front of them.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.

– Mignon McLaughlin

God made women beautiful and foolish,….beautiful that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

– William Shakespeare, As You Like It

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue.

– Hermione Gingold