Three things are needed for a good life, good friends, good food, and good song.
– Jason Zebehazy

What is food to one man may be fierce poison to others.
– Lucretius

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
– Stuart Pearce

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man,and a man to a worm.
– Ambrose Bierce

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
– Dave Barry

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
– Alfred E. Newman

You can say this for ready mixes the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
– Earl Wilson

We load up on oat bran in the morning so we’ll live forever. Then we spend the rest of the day living like there’s no tomorrow.
– Lee Iacocca

We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.
– William Osler

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.
– John Barrymore

High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?
– Annita Manning

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.
– Barbara Grizzuti

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
– Voltaire

I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
– Steven Wright

Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward.
– Jasmine Heiler

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
– Richard Whately

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
– Fran Lebowitz

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.
– Elizabeth Berry

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are three other people.
– Orson Welles

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
– Andy Rooney