Life is a series of dogs.
– George Carlin
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- “Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” – George Carlin
- Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. – George Carlin
- I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius. – George Carlin
- That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. – George Carlin
- The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity. – George Carlin
- Regarding the Boy Scouts, I’m very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook. – George Carlin
- You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? – George Carlin
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. – George Carlin
- There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past. – George Carlin
- I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed. – George Carlin