If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
– Johnny Carson
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- If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead. – Johnny Carson
- If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. – Johnny Carson
- We’re more effective than birth control pills. – Johnny Carson
- We’re more effective than birth control pills. – Johnny Carson
- He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner. – Johnny Carson
- Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. – Johnny Carson
- If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. – Johnny Carson
- Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson
- Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson
- The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money. – Johnny Carson