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I had a terrible education

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

– Woody Allen

I had a terrible education

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

– Woody Allen

I had a terrible education

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

– Woody Allen

Life doesn’t imitate art it

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

– Woody Allen

It’s not that I’m afraid

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

– WOODY ALLEN

I’m not afraid of death

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

– Woody Allen

Organized Crime In America

‘Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.’

– Woody Allen

Organized Crime In America

Eighty percent of success is

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

– Woody Allen

To you I’m an atheist

“To you, I’m an atheist.
To God, I’m the loyal opposition.”

– Woody Allen

To you I’m an atheist

“To you, I’m an atheist.
To God, I’m the loyal opposition.”

– Woody Allen

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind a pretty uncomfortable thought particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.
– Woody Allen

Life is a concentration camp. You’re stuck here and there’s no way ou t and.
– Woody Allen

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
– Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
– Woody Allen

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
– Woody Allen

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
– Woody Allen

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing “Embraceable You” in spats.
– Woody Allen

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
– Woody Allen

My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
– Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering and it’s all over much too soon.
– Woody Allen