Rita Rudner

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

– Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
– Rita Rudner

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.
– Rita Rudner

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
– Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner