Tags:


The depressing thing about tennis

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

– Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
– Mitch Hedberg

It’s hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where’s my wallet? But, hey this song is funky.
– Mitch Hedberg

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
– Mitch Hedberg