Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
– Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
– Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
– Mark Twain
There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
– Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
– Mark Twain
Figures don’t lie, liars figure.
– Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
– Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
– Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.
? Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
– Mark Twain
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
– Mark Twain
It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
– Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
– Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
– Mark Twain
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
– Mark Twain
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
– Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.
– Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
– Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
– Mark Twain
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
– Mark Twain