Henny Youngman

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

– Henny Youngman

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!

– Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman