Dave Barry - Page 3

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’.
– Dave Barry

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
– Dave Barry

There are two distinctive classes of people today; those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars a piece.
– Dave Barry

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
– Dave Barry

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
— Dave Barry

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning ability to, and bics, meaning withstand tremendous boredom.
– Dave Barry

I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.
– Dave Barry

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!
– Dave Barry