Chris Rock

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.

– Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty- Bysix and looks twenty- Bysix, she’s damn near forty.

– Chris Rock

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

– Chris Rock

“When you have kids, there’s no such thing as quality time. There’s just time. There’s no, ‘Ooh, his graduation’s better than going to the mall.’ It’s all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest — it’s all good.”

– Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock

Who’s judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
– Chris Rock

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps.We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
– Chris Rock