Ambrose Bierce - Page 3

A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
– Ambrose Bierce

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
– Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
– Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
– Ambrose Bierce

Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
– Ambrose Bierce

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
– Ambrose Bierce

Abscond to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
– Ambrose Bierce

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
– Ambrose Bierce

A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
– Ambrose Bierce

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
– Ambrose Bierce

A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
– Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
– Ambrose Bierce

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
– Ambrose Bierce

Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
– Ambrose Bierce

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
– Ambrose Bierce

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
– Ambrose Bierce

An apparatus with which we think we think.
– Ambrose Bierce

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
– Ambrose Bierce

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
– Ambrose Bierce

Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
– Ambrose Bierce