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Science Jokes

Zero is cool

Absolute zero is cool.

What do you call a microbiologist

What do you call a microbiologist that has traveled to every country in the world?
A man of many cultures.

Old chemistry teachers never die

Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react

I constantly push the envelope

I constantly push the envelope, but it stays stationary

Where does bad light land?

Where does bad light land?
In Prism.

A neutrino walks into a bar

A neutrino walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind.” Neutrino replies, “Just passing through.”

The past, the present, and the future

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.

I have a new theory

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

A Higgs boson walks into a church

A Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says, “Get out, you blasphemer. How dare you call yourself the ‘God particle’?” The Higgs boson replies: “But I make up the mass.”