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Police Jokes

Priest And Police

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing? What if you have an accident?”

The priests say, “Don’t worry, my son. Jesus is with us.”

The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle.”

Submitted by rajat.

Conversation with a Policeman

Policeman: When I saw you coming around the corner, I said to myself, “Fifty-five at least.”

Woman Driver: “Well, you are a long way off! It’s this hat that makes me look so old.”

Submitted by rajat.

Stop Sign

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.

“No,” the man replied.

“You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained.

“But I did slow down!” the guy argued.

The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re called stop signs.”
The man started to get belligerent. “Stop, slow down — what’s the difference?”

The cop pulled out his baton. “I can show you. I’m going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down.”

Submitted by rajat.

Fasi Ki Khushi se

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di

jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Sardar(Khusi se) : Main to uthta hi subha 9

baje hon!!!s

Police : Are You married?

Police : Are You married?

Suresh : Yes, with a woman.

Police : Of course! Did you even hear of anyone marrying a man?

Suresh : Yes, my sister did….!!!

Height of Addiction

Height of Addiction: Just bofore a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!
He said- I want to update MyFACEBOOK status as DIED ..!!

Working in the Garden

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife:

“I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:

“Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:

“You wouldn’t believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden.”

The prisoner wrote another letter:

“Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!”

Submitted by Rohit.

Bad Way To Start The Week

Officer:you are going to be hanged on Monday.
Prisoner:oh please not on Monday.
Officer:why?
Prisoner:Its such a a bad way to start the week.

Submitted by jasmeen.

Not My Parking Ticket

I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, howabout giving a guy a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at meand started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he startedwriting a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t give a damn. My car was parked around the corner…

Submitted by Rohit.

Young Police Officer

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner people.”

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner… NOW!”

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”

Pretty good,” chuckled the vet, “especially since this is a bus stop.”

Submitted by Rohit.