Office Jokes

I Can’t Come

An employee calls his boss and tells “I cannot come to work today”
“Why not?” asks the boss.
“My wife is still on bed, she didn’t prepare breakfast and didn’t iron my clothes” the employee replies.
“That’s not an excuse” shouts the boss,
“Well you wake my wife and tell it to her” the employee replies

DownUp +5

Bosses Versus Workers

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that’s brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that’s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Submitted by Rohit.

DownUp +12

Babblu Joined New Job

Babblu joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Babblu : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

DownUp +16

Arun Aur Boss

Arun – “sir ji, aap apni patni ko party mein kyunahi laate?” Boss – “woh gaon ki hai..” Arun – “Oh sorry, mujhe laga woh sirf aapki hai.

DownUp +13

Manager: Do You Know Anything About This Fax-Machine?

Manager: Do you know anything about this fax-machine?

Staff: A little. What’s wrong sir?

Manager: Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.

Staff: How did you load the sheet?

Manager: I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.

DownUp +4


Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father’s Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You
May Go
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance….?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture.. …. :p 😀

DownUp +260