Search

Engineer Jokes

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Car Break Trouble

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

“I know,” said the Branch Manager, “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.”

“No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I’ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”

“Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”

Submitted by raja.

A beggar meets another beggar

A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
* So, Which Platform are you Working on ???….

Interviewer

Interviewer: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?
Kaalu: Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise?
Tairega nai to doob jayega!! Then he’ll dead…

A Software Engg was smoking

A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings.

English Sir- Pappu you are late..!

English Sir- Pappu you are late..!
Pappu- Sir meri car…
Sir- Pappu speak in English,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pappu- My car was fussing in the
kichad,
No hilling,
No dolling,
Only po po karing…

Engineer to rikshawala

Engineer to rikshawala : Are o
bhai khali
ho kya??????
.
.
.
. Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali
hoon
sahab….
.
.
.
. .
Engineer : Aao Chalo Phir
Taash khelte hain…. ๐Ÿ˜€

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha-
.
.
.
.
.
Dekh – dekh us ladki ko dekh wo
Tumhare sath padhti hai,
.
.
.
.
.
1st aayi hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy- Dekh – dekh kya dekh??
.
.
Usi ko dekh – dekh ke to fail hua hu..

Engineering Is like a

Engineering Is like a….
.
.
.
.
typical Indian public toilet
.
.
People outside r desperate to go in &
people inside r dying to finish n come out……!!

MORAL: Doctor, bano ya Engineer, GURU toh aakhir GURU hi hota hai.

10 Doctors, 5 Engineers aur 1 Teacher helicopter ki rassi pe latke hue the.

Pilot – Weight zyadaa hai, 1 Aadmi ko rassi choddni padegi!

Teacher – “Ye Qurbani hum denge kyunki hum teacher hain! Bajao taaliyaan!”

Sabhi Doctors aur Engineers taaliyaan bajaane lage!

Weight khud hi kam ho gaya!

MORAL: Doctor, bano ya Engineer, GURU toh aakhir GURU hi hota hai.