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Drunk Jokes

What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.

How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?

Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!

What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?

Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?

Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!

Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?

Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world!

What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?

Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: “Please, no stories!”

What did the bartender say

Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: “Olive or twist?”

Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?

Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

What is a drunk man’s idea of a balanced diet?

What is a drunk man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!