Driving Jokes - Page 2

Few Favorite Driving Habits

Happily cruising down the middle lane of a motorway with either indicator flashing, but going nowhere.

Happily cruising down the middle lane of a motorway even when the road is almost entirely empty.

Picking your nose and believing that no-one can see you.

Not realising that there is any other setting for your lights than high beam.

Indicating to move into a lane that you’re already half way in.

falling asleep at the wheel, just in time for the lights to turn green.

Sounding your horn one nanosecond after the lights change to green if the car in front hasn’t sped off.

Sending sprays of wiper wash right over the top of your car and washing the one behind.

Overtaking then pulling in front and slowing down.

Sharing whatever is on your car stereo with anyone within a mile radius.

Submitted by rajat.

DownUp -2

After An Accident

After an accident….
A very angry driver Say : I showed you the headlights & told u 2 go by side.

Man : I also started the wipers & said No, no..No no. 😀

DownUp -2

Paying In Advance

Once an engineer was driving in a ranch and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

“Oh, about $200 today,” said the redneck. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”

Engineer sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the redneck.

“Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now.”

Submitted by Rohit.

DownUp +37

Should have glasses

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”

The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.”

The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”

Submitted by Rohit.

DownUp 0