Search

College Jokes

Thank you student loans for getting me through college.

Thank you student loans for getting me through college.

I don’t think I can ever repay you.

Facabook Status

A boy’s FACEBOOK status:
I m online during class.
ha ha ha ha ha ha…
Comment from Teacher:
GET OUT Of the CLASS now….
Comment Liked By Principal..

Medical College Girls

Bantu:: If I climb this tree, can I see engineering college girls??
Babblu: Definitely, if you jump from there you can also see Medical college girls

Thank God!

Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life,
It was discovered in 1773.
Student: Thank God! I am born after 1773 otherwise; I would have died without it.

Analogy For All College Lecturers

Analogy for all college lecturers
They teach us to make “PLAIN RICE” in class
&
Expect from us to cook “BIRYANI” in exams…

Importance of Physics

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out.

“To save lives,” the professor responded before
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”

The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.

“Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

Submitted by gursimran.

Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

“What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked.

“That is the talking clock”, the man replied.

“How’s it work?” the friend asked.

“Watch”, the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s two AM in the morning!

Submitted by gursimran.

Different Thinking

A Ph.D. student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the Ph.D. student.

“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman.”

Poof! He’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.”

Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”

Submitted by gursimran.

Chair Philosophy

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

Submitted by gursimran.

Daughter in college

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education?

As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?

Submitted by gursimran.