Business Jokes

A picture is worth 1,000 words

A picture is worth 1,000 words, but it uses up 3,000 times the memory.

Failure is not an option

Failure is not an option—it comes bundled with the software.

Don’t corner something

Don’t corner something meaner than you.

Always forgive your enemies

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.

Never try to teach a pig to sing

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Don’t beat

Don’t beat a dead horse.

When you assume

When you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

Tell them what you’re going to tell

Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.

When you’re up to your armpits in alligators

When you’re up to your armpits in alligators, it’s hard to remember to drain the swamp.

The only place success comes

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.