Blonde Jokes - Page 2

A robber

A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

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Two blondes

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

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Finding Her Place

On her way back from the theater sitting, a blonde asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?”

Man hoping for an apology said, “Indeed you did.”

Blonde nodded, and said, “Oh good. Then this is my row.”

Submitted by zanny.

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Blonde Thanksgiving Dinner

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

Submitted by zanny.

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Dog With One Eye

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

Submitted by Rohit.

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A Mother at 65!

A 65 year old blonde has a baby.

All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.

When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.”

A little later they ask to see the baby again.

Again the mother says “not yet.”

Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”

And the mother says, “When the baby cries.”

And they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”

The new mother says, “because I forgot where I put it.”

Submitted by Rohit.

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I’m Going Ice Fishing!

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

Submitted by abhi.

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Blonde Sky Divers

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord — nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells “Oh! So you wanna race, huh?”

Submitted by abhi.

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Blondes Change A Lightbulb

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up?

Blonde: No, it’s working fine.

Operator: Then what’s the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

Submitted by abhi.

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