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Animal Jokes

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Why do shepherds never learn to count? Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.

I used to have a dog that did magic tricks.

I used to have a dog that did magic tricks.

It was a labracadabrador!

Which animal has more lives than the cat?

Q: Which animal has more lives than the cat?
A: Frogs, because they “croak” each night.

What do you call a paralyzed goat?

Q. What do you call a paralyzed goat?

A. Billy Idle

A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas

Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had four, it would be chicken sedan.

Why did the duck go to jail?

Q: Why did the duck go to jail?
A: Because he got caught selling quack.

How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?

Q: How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?
A: Put up a Bingo sign.

What kind of key opens a banana?

Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey.

A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile

A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, “Please let me go! I’ll grant you any wish you desire.” The man says, “Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground.” The crocodile then bites his legs off.