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Airplane Jokes

A man went to the airline counter

A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, do you have reservations?” He replied, “Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I’m flying anyway.”

Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?

Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush. The clerk replied, “It’s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.”

A young and foolish pilot

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: “Guess who?”
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: “Guess where?”

Passenger And Pilot

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?
Passenger: No, I have not.
Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.
Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?
Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.

If you are flying in an airplane

Q: If you are flying in an airplane and it gets on fire where do you come out?
A: In the news.

It was mealtime during an airline flight

It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’ the
flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’
Greg asked.
‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

A guy called a budget airline to book a flight

A guy called a budget airline to book a flight. The operator asked: “How many people area traveling? “How should I know?” said the man. “It’s your plane!”

The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm

An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side. The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm. The attendant asked a business man “Would you like a drink? “Why not?” he replied unkindly “I’ll have whatever the pilot’s been having.

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or No,” replied the attendant

A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter

A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse. She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “today’s investment will pay big dividends!”