Funny Jokes
Search

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife

I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words… “Were you fired?”

The device will work much better

The device will work much better, if you turn it on.

My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent

My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.

The first 5 days

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

When is a field hockey player like a judge?

When is a field hockey player like a judge? When she sits on the bench.

Life is scary

Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.

All I’m saying is why blame it on being lazy

All I’m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?

Maybe if we all sit extremely still

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

I start every conversation with my employees

I start every conversation with my employees by saying, “I shouldn’t be telling you this” just so I know they will listen.