Funny SMS

Why Are Elephants
Large, Gray And
Wrinkly… ?
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Because
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If They Were
Small Round & White
They Would Be
”Aspirins” ;->

Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report :p

Attitude of girls:
When a boy sends dirty sms
she laughs for 10 minutes,
forward dat to her friends n
then replies the boy.
“i dont like that kind of sms ok?” :p ;->

Friends I’m Collecting
Quad Photos
Give Ur Contribution
2 My Collection.
A Small Condition Is
It Must Be On
500 Or 1000 Rupees Note

Teacher:
What should be in a
book to make it a bestseller?

Tommy:
A girl on the cover
and
no cover on the girl.

Define a True Music Lover?

A Girl singing in a Bathroom
While Taking Bath
and a Boy Near the Keyhole
is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.

Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.

Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.

Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ?
How do I know if it is pure honey ?
Seller : give the dog some honey ..
if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey

Buyer : what if the dog licks it ?
Seller: so it is not a real dog.

Thought of the day:
“if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!”

A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.

Flowers die,
Stories end,
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come 2 end,
But people like u r remembered forever,
Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Man on phone:
Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man: No this is her husband speaking…

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”

I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
(My neighbourer say all this to me)

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents – Ruby First Class in Bed!

A Man saw a Beautiful Girl, he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Man: B.Com final year”

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. “I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Husband: Today is Sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

What’s the difference between wife n neighbors wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbor’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

Someday you may lose your hair.
you may lose your teeth- your money & even lose your mind.
But 1 thing you will never loose is your good looks.
because you cant lose what you don’t have!

Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured….!!!

2 men were fixing a bomb in a car.
Men 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Men 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

Who‘s hot… Its U,
Who‘s
Charming… Its U,
Who‘s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who‘s
Intelligent… Its U,
Who‘s dear & near friend… Its U
Who‘s a liar.. Its me

Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-energy
X-excitement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!

Girl: It’s 2 tight
Boy: Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal: Push it in,
Boy: Ah..I can’t,
Gal: It’s painful,
Boy: Forget it.
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We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is u’rs……..:p

Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it
Within three days, you can keep it.

Whats d height of hope??
It is: sitting in d exam hall,
holding d question paper in hand
n telling Ur self
“dude,don’t worry.
Exams will get postponed!”

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
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Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”

Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.

What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.

Husband: u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife: Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Can v do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
“MOSQUITO”

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I’m only a cartoonist!

Boy: I am not rich like Sid, I don’t even have a bid car like Sid. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Sid.

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!