Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings
There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love you only because they need you.
You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon Dickson
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.
A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
- Alben W. Barkley
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
- Erma Bombeck
An appeal is when you ask one court to show it’s contempt for another court.
- Finley Peter Dunne
Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
- Andrei Codrescu
If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, at least there’s a finite number of idiots.
- Steven Coallier
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
- Russel Baker
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
- Quentin Crisp
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
- Dr. Tony Giles