Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings

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There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love you only because they need you.

Submitted by Uzair Lallmamode.

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You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen

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The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- Anonymous

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon Dickson

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- Anonymous

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Anonymous

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
- Anonymous

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Anonymous

It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.
- Caron

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
- Alben W. Barkley

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
- Erma Bombeck

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it’s contempt for another court.
- Finley Peter Dunne

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
- Andrei Codrescu

If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, at least there’s a finite number of idiots.
- Steven Coallier

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
- Russel Baker

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
- Anonymous

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
- Anonymous

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
- Anonymous

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
- Quentin Crisp

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
- Anonymous

As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
- Dr. Tony Giles

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Quotes