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Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings

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There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love you only because they need you.
– Uzair Lallmamod

Submitted by Uzair Lallmamode.

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Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Ashleigh Brilliant

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Never judge a book by its movie.
– J.W. Eagan

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I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don’t like?
– Jean Cocteau

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History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
– Abba Eban

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
– Ambrose Bierce

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
– Whitney Brown

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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
– Anonymous

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Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
– Gordon Dickson

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You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
– John Ciardi

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I don’t believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
– Noel Coward

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If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
– Charles Pierce

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Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
– William Feather

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I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
– Groucho Marx

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You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
– Anonymous

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Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
– Oscar Wilde

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The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
– George Bernard Shaw

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I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
– Anonymous

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Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Anonymous

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You have delighted us long enough.
– Jane Austen