Funny Quotes and Sayings
+1A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
+1China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
- Charles Gaulle
+1A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.
- Anonymous
+1It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.
- William Thomas
+1Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- Mae West
+1No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.
- Orville Wright
+1Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- Anonymous
+1He’s got a photographic mind. Too bad it never developed.
- Leopold Fechtner
+1Airplanes may kill you, but they ain’t likely to hurt you.
- Satchel Paige
+1The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney
+1He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
- Lao Tsu
+1Aviation is good for sport, but for the Army it is useless!
- Marshal Ferdinand Foch
+1When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
- Edward Abbey
+1Traditionally most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.
- Keppel Enderbery
+1Govern a family as you would cook a small fish – very gently.
- Chinese Proverb
+1A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
- H. L. Mencken
+1I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.
- George W. Bush
+1Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers
+1A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.
- Buster Keaton
+1I am not a glutton. I am an explorer of food.
- Erma Bombeck
+1I’m a classic example of all humorists only funny when I’m working.
- Peter Sellers
+1If the minimum wasn’t acceptable it wouldn’t be called the minimum.
- George Muncaster
+1Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
- Jerry Garcia
+1The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s.
- Polish Proverb
+1It’s funny to me that I have to prove to the banks that I’M honest.
- Scott Adams