Mark Twain Quotes
+7It is easier to stay out than get out.
- Mark Twain
+7Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
- Mark Twain
+7A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining.
- Mark Twain
+5When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
+5Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
- Mark Twain
+5God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
- Mark Twain
+3It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
- Mark Twain
+3The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain
+3If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
+3Citizenship is what makes a republic monarchies can get along without it.
- Mark Twain
+3If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
- Mark Twain
+3Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
+3The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain
+3In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain
+3I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
+1Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain
+1If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
- Mark Twain
+1Giving up smoking is easy. I’ve done it hundreds of times.
- Mark Twain
+1Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
+1There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
- Mark Twain
+1Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say it is brave.
- Mark Twain
+1I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
- Mark Twain
+1Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Mark Twain
+1When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
+1To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I’ve done it a thousand times.
- Mark Twain