Teacher Jokes
Misbehaving
+63Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Submitted by Rajan.
It is a BRIGHT sunny day
+51The teacher came in to the room.
teacher:Hello class the lesson today is…
Then a kid interrupted.
kid:teacher,why are you wearing sunglasses?
teacher:come on class!don’t you understand I wear sunglasses ’cause you all are so BRIGHT!
Submitted by Sheela Montinegro .
A= B =C Calculations
+69Teacher:Students if a=b & b=c ,then we can say that a=c.Give me on more example…
(A boy stands up and says…)
Boy:Mam if i love you and you love your daughter then i love your daughter..!!!!
Submitted by αкαѕн ѕσηι.
Class Picture
+35A teacher had been after her pupils to bring in their 2 dollars for the class picture.
Upset over the tardiness, one day she got up in front of the class and said, “Class, think how much you’re going to treasure this picture 25 years from now. You will pull it out and say, ‘There’s my friend, Julie. She’s a lawyer now. There’s my friend Robert. He’s a doctor’”
Then a voice from the back of the room interrupted, “And there’s my teacher. She’s dead.”
Submitted by gursimran.
Spring Fever
+2Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”
Submitted by raju.
School Days
+6It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Some flowers.” ”
That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?”
“Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner’s daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.”
“That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl.
“Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
“Is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
“Is it champagne?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”
With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”
Submitted by raju.
What do you call a person who keeps on talking…
+9Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What would you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Little Johnny replies, “A teacher.”
Submitted by raju.
The teacher reads to her class
+2The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family. When she had finished, she said, “Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns.”
Little Johnny spoke up without hesitation, “Automobiles?”
Submitted by raju.
If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
+6Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
Submitted by raju.
New Teacher
+13A new teacher is trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She starts her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up.”
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”
“No, ma’am,” he says, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”
Submitted by raju.