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Two mice scavenging in an old studio

Two mice scavenging in an old studio warehouse find some old celluloid film.

Mouse 1: This looks really old! I wonder what film it is?

Mouse 2: The can is right here… Oh, it’s “Gone with the Wind”!

Mouse 1: Well, maybe it’s still good – let me take a bite.

Mouse 2: Well? How is it?

Mouse 1: Nothing much. The book was better.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?

I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, “Oh my, I could be eating a slow learner…”

A bunch of bees were enjoying themselves

A bunch of bees were enjoying themselves by buzzing around and harassing nature lovers on their bicycles.

“You know,” one of the bees said, “if we had arms and legs, it would be a lot easier pedaling these things!”

New research found that pigeons

New research found that pigeons can actually be taught to read and write.

Once the researchers finished teaching the pigeon, the first thing it wrote was, “Get a life, man.”

What do you call an owl that does magic?

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hoodini!

What did the the owl devil say

What did the the owl devil say to the sinning owl?

Owl be damned!

Two dogs were walking down the street

Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, “Wait here a minute, I’ll be right back.”

He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for a while, then walks back across the street.

The other dog asks, “What was that about?”

The first dog replies, “Just checking my messages.”

I have a pet

I have a pet who is a continual source of personal annoyance and irritation. Truth be told, he really bothers the heck out of me.

I named my pet, “Peeve.”

Why me do cowboys need two spurs?

Why me do cowboys need two spurs?

Are they afraid one side of the horse might take off galloping by itself?

A man went to the airline counter

A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, do you have reservations?” He replied, “Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I’m flying anyway.”