Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: Why don’t lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don’t know. There are some things even a blonde won’t do.
Q: What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.