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A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini

A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, “You don’t see a dog in here drinking a martini very often.”

The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”

A grasshopper hops into a bar

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.”

The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”

We don’t serve your type here

Several fonts walk into a bar. “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type here.”

Horse serving drinks

A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”

The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender tells him to get out. The mushroom says, “Why? I’m a fun-guy.”

A pair of jumper cables

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says, “OK, but I don’t want you starting anything in here.”

Beer, please, and one for the road

A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says, “Beer, please, and one for the road.”

A penguin walks into a bar

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?”

The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”

A time traveler walks into a bar

The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

An amnesiac walks into a bar

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”